1. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
2. Math after marriage is simple. If you have $20 and your wife has $5, she has $25.
3. Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still say "I agree".
4. Marriage is not a noun, it's a verb. It isn't something you get, it's something you do. It's the way you love your partner everyday.
5. The most important words for a successful marriage: I'll do the dishes.
6. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.------Ann Bancroft
7. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.-------Winston Churchill
8. Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming; you have to start over again every morning.------H. Jackson Brown Jr.
9. Your wife is less likely to argue with you if you're cleaning.
10. The Best Marriage Advice: If you have to fight do it naked!